Harper on Divorce
This is a conversation we had in the car while driving home from ballet on Tuesday.
Harper: “I don’t think you and dad will ever get a divorce.”
Me: “Probably not.”
Cole: “I’d be really mad if you did!”
Harper: “I would just be really sad.”
Me: “Well, no need to worry, nobody’s getting a divorce.”
Harper came up with a great compromise though: “I know! You can wait until Cole and I get married to get divorced. Then we wouldn’t notice.”
Apparently once you are married, you don’t notice if your parents get divorced or not. Who knew?
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Florida Vacation 2012
On Friday, I worked a half day then took a little nap, and when the kids got off school, we headed out for spring break. We stopped in Indianapolis and had dinner with Amy’s parents. (Grandma gave the kids some souvenir money. Spoiled!) I loaded up the podcasts and was good for driving all night. Podcasts have really changed the game. Before, I would struggle through the night during the AM radio commercial breaks. Now I can listen to the Nerdist or Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History or any number of other things that keep me interested and awake. Getting through Atlanta in the dead of night is key. Oddly, at about 3 or 4 a.m., I-75 on the Georgia/Florida line is heavily populated with Hoosiers. I suppose the Florida tourist industry is doing well enough without my advice, but the constant stream of anti-choice political billboards makes it look like you’re driving into Wingnuttistan, and the constant toll booth stops pretty well confirms that. Though, I suppose the abortion billboards are complemented in an odd sort of way by the strip club billboards.
Anyway, at about 7 a.m., the family woke up. Harper would’ve gone back to sleep, but the others were hungry and needed to use the restroom and whatnot. So, we stopped at a Waffle House, per Cole’s request. Unfortunately, it was crowded and had a random cockroach wandering across a waiting chair. So, we moved on down the road, finding an Iron Skillet. Harper’s belly was sour and she went to the bathroom a number of times to throw up. Poor thing wasn’t so much upset at throwing up as she was at the thought that the waitress might think she didn’t like the Mickey Mouse pancakes they’d made for her. We had about the nicest waitress ever. Anyway, we got to the house with about 2 more hours of driving and 1 more incident of Harper throwing up – she got it all in the ziploc bag we gave her for that purpose and was fairly proud of herself! Poor girl. I think this was less car sickness and more just having a sour belly from not enough sleep. She’s been fine since then.
When we got to the house, I took a nap. Amy and the kids went and bought some supplies. Then we hung out, swam in the house pool until Aunt Suzie and Kenza arrived and took it easy the rest of that Saturday.
On Sunday, we hit Island of Adventure at Universal. (To take one car, we put 6 people in the SUV. I ride in the hatch.) It was a rainy day, so the first line was the poncho acquisition station. Harper, as usual, made the poncho look like the cutest fashion accessory ever. Cole wasn’t terribly pleased with his. Fortunately, the rains were intermittent and never really got much harder than a drizzle. Still, the kids – Harper in particular – looked like drowned rats by the end of it. Harper was initially very apprehensive about the Hippogriff roller coaster; but, not to worry, she loved it! In fact, while the rest of us went to the Harry Potter ride (which Harper was to short to rid), Amy and Harper rode the Hippogriff about 5 more times. The last three of them, Harper put her hands up during the ride.
The Harry Potter ride was very enjoyable; but, I think I liked the Spiderman ride better. There was a bit of grumpiness on Cole’s part when Amy, Kenza, and I went to ride the Dragon Challenge. Cole was too short, and he and Harper and Suzie went to the Dr. Seuss part of the park. He got a little mutinous because he “only likes thrill rides.” But, we had a little chat about selfishness and appreciation, and he pulled out pretty quickly. We also had lunch at the Three Broomsticks which wasn’t bad at all – even a decent value by theme park food standards, complete with Butterbeer! On Monday, we had a shorter park day planned, so we went back to Island of Adventure. Amy got to go on the Harry Potter ride this time. (And Aunt Suzie went with Harper to the Hippogriff.)
At some point, we split up again. I think Amy and Kenza went to ride the Hulk rollercoaster. Cole and I went to the Hippogriff again. We’ve had some pretty good bonding moments, I think. For example, we both think the Dyson hand dryers in the theme park bathrooms are awfully nifty. (At one point – different bathroom – Cole said, “I only peed a little.” I misheard him and said, “I love you too.” We both thought that was hilarious. Unfortunately, I shared the joke – everyone else thought it was pretty funny also. This ended up making Cole sad; I think because on some level he felt like it was making fun of when we were being serious and telling each other “I love you.”)
Monday night, we visited with Suzie’s friend David and his family in Winter Park. Delicious salmon, among other things. Somehow Cole managed to get some cuts and scrapes rolling on the grass in the front yard – I think there was a hill and they rolled down onto the curb, causing some minor trauma. In the past, he has freaked out over the tiniest scrape or cut; but not on Monday. Maybe he’s getting past that. But, the next day, Tuesday, was our beach day. The salt water hurt his cuts for awhile. But, before too long, he got over that. That day, we returned to St. Pete Beach – I think this is my third visit to that particular stretch of beach; Amy & the kids’ 4th, at least. It’s relatively clean, quiet, and has easy public parking and a couple of decent restaurants within walking distance. After a pleasant day at the beach – complete with creation of a castle complex, some frozen margaritas, sea gull chasing, and swimming; we went to the Sea Critters Cafe. I had a lobster roll, some sea food bisque, and a Yuengling. So, yum! This year, nobody got burned too badly; just a missed patch here or there.
On Wednesday, we went to the Universal Studios side of the Universal park which had several cool rides. The Simpson’s ride was very well done; not least of all because they play show clips while you’re standing in line. I could’ve waited in that line for 5 hours. I saw a lot of other dads, approximately my age, walking in line with happy grins on their faces. The Mummy was also especially well done. Cole liked that one but was also a little scared by it. Harper really enjoyed the Woody Woodpecker roller coaster; a small coaster, but I still have fond memories of Woody Woodpecker, so it was good.
Today we’re headed to the water park!
Read MoreChecking In
Just checking in with a couple of milestones for posterity. First, Harper learned to tie her shoes by herself. Probably she could have learned sooner. We had worked with her a bit several months ago, and then it fell by the wayside. This time, she picked it up very quickly, no problem. More impressively, she learned to ride a two wheeler!
Video here.
Meanwhile, Cole was one of two Cumberland second graders chosen to have art displayed at the Tippecanoe Arts Federation gallery where they had exhibits from a couple of kids from each grade from each elementary school.
Apparently the assignment for the class was to draw something based on a snowman. He had been playing a lot of Guitar Hero at the time and, so, went with a rocker snowman.
2011: My Year in Review
For me, personally, 2011 was a remarkable year. It started out pretty rocky; much more so for others than for me, but for this post, I’m being fairly self-centered.
January was marked by Amy’s absence to attend to her dying grandmother. For me, the month was something of a blur. Juggling the kids, work (with a large jury trial approaching), and a dying dog was pretty hectic. Brooksey was really the key ingredient in making this month very trying. She had lost control of her ability to know when and where to go to the bathroom, and every time you left her alone or heard her move, there was a decent chance you’d have an awful mess to clean up. I will forever be scarred by an evening where the DeWitts, knowing our family situation, very kindly invited me and the kids over — a little time off with a meal and the kids occupied by their kids. I put Brooksey in the laundry room (which is upstairs), figuring it would be easier to clean up than her crate when I got home. It was bed time when we came home, but, coming in the door, I could smell the foulness all the way from upstairs. Every inch of the laundry room was covered in fecal matter. Brooksey had pooped and then proceeded to pace back and forth across the laundry room until every inch of the linoleum floor was covered. I told the kids to go play in Cole’s room; carried Brooksey to the bathroom and bathed her; then got on my hands and knees with bleach and water and scrubbed the laundry room floor. Then, I finally was able to put the kids to bed.
During this period, not including the laundry room incident, I remember savoring about a half hour to myself at the very end of the day – kids in bed, Brooksey exhausted and emptied – with a glass of Jameson’s and a few rounds of Angry Birds. Again, my problems were secondary – I wasn’t dying, and I wasn’t losing a grandmother – but, it was tiring. Amy’s grandmother passed away in January, and we put Brooksey to sleep not long after, in February. And, just to cap things off, I fractured a metatarsal in my foot, probably from overusing my Vibram Five Fingers; which stopped my running but didn’t otherwise limit me.
But, as the winter passed, the year got decidedly better, and we headed to Disney World. The trip was much needed. We drove down to Kissimee, Florida where we shared a condo with Suzie and Kenza, hitting up the Disney properties and a couple of beaches, including one excellent day with our good friends, the Feichtners, at St. Pete Beach who were in another part of Florida at the time. We also had a very nice afternoon with a couple of Suzie’s friends in Winter Park that included a nice lake tour. But, my favorite part of Florida was Mainely Lobster which we went to for Amy’s birthday dinner after a day at Cocoa Beach. She liked the place o.k. but it was clear that I was enjoying it the most.
At the end of March, we got Ollie, our new puppy. I could have waited a little longer before getting another dog, but Amy was smitten by a good looking boy with enormous paws. Mostly, I’m happy we went ahead and added him to the family. He’s a good boy, but in the mornings when he’s most energetic and I’m least, sometimes it occurs to me that I wasn’t quite ready to care for a dog again. I’ve been pretty resolute when the subject of a second dog comes up. In March or April, I also had the honor of escorting Harper to a Daddy-Princess ball; and I’m pleased to say that she has kindly extended an invitation to the 2012 ball.
April and May was the run up to the trial in my big pig case. This had been dragging on since August of 2006, all attempts at settlement and to get it knocked out early had been unsuccessful. Getting everything ready, I started working crazy hours and, I’m afraid, I wasn’t too much of a family man. It culminated in a moment in the White Circuit Court, the jury had come in, and the jury foreman was preparing to read the verdict. That might well be the most intense moment I’ve ever experienced. They found in favor of my client but, regrettably, returned a big verdict against my client’s co-defendants who we were quite fond of and against whom we did not feel like the complaints were well founded. So, my win was not an unmitigated joy, but still, I’d done my job successfully, and it’s one of my proudest professional accomplishments.
Oh, and did I mention that our basement started flooding with the spring rains? This featured one especially foolish moment where I was using the shop vac outside in a thunderstorm with tornado sirens blowing in an effort to drain the window well where the water was getting in. Ultimately, I solved the problem with some very minor landscaping and by extending our downspouts away from the house.
Things relaxed over the summer. We had gotten a new liner installed in the pool, and opened it up for business. Happily “business” meant a series of visitors, family and friends; and it was nice to have them and be able to entertain. One very small addition to our house that made me inordinately happy was placing a wall mounted bottle opener on the porch next to the beer fridge.
August was a great month. We went to South Dakota to visit the Ficks, I got back to running, I started coaching Cole’s soccer team, and, most remarkably, and had an amazing surprise birthday party for my 40th birthday that Amy threw me. Completely stunned me. My buddies took me golfing to get me out of the house; humored me when I suggested we go to DT Kirby’s after the golf; and then, when we got home, one of them had a fairly believable pretense that got us to enter through the backyard gate, and BOOM! Lots of people there to wish me a happy birthday. Very touching. The weather was nice for the party, and things had wound down before a severe storm front blew through — it was the same front that would kill several people by blowing over a music stage at the State Fairgrounds in Indianapolis.
Through the fall, I had a great time coaching Cole’s soccer team as well as getting my running groove back. In October, I ran with Chris Bangert in the Wabash Heritage Trail 15k — that was a tough one. In November, I ran the Monumental half marathon with Amy, finally breaking the two hour barrier that had been a goal of mine. And, in December, we went to Las Vegas and ran another half marathon along the strip, as well as meeting up with some good friends. In November, I was also privileged to have an opinion column published in the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette.
And, the end of the year has featured a pleasant string of holiday gatherings – Thanksgiving at Gran’s and Amy’s parents; a Christmas gathering at Gran’s; Christmas at our house with Amy’s parents visiting; and, finally, a New Year’s Eve gathering at our house.
I’m sure I’ve missed plenty of important stuff in there; but I have to say that, despite a rocky start, 2011 turned into an awfully good year for me. The Hoosier in me says to brace for a downturn in 2012 just by way of payback, but I’ll hope for the best.
Read MoreChristmas 2011
I confess, I’m always relieved to be out the other end of the Christmas season. Somehow it’s more exhausting than it seems like it ought to be. And, I don’t even do most of the work — Amy does the vast majority of the present buying, baking, decorating, etc. etc. etc. Still, the traveling, altered schedules, and the other parts wear me down somehow.
That’s not to say the holiday season was unpleasant. It was not. Last weekend, we went up to Goshen where we celebrated with my Dad’s family early. We got to see my mom & dad and Cindy and Katie along with the rest of the Goshen side of the family. The major downside to this visit was that Gran was not feeling at all well. She had a cold or flu or something and, at age 90, any patch of illness can be worrisome. She stayed at her house and rested while the party was moved to Aunt Susan and Uncle Jack’s. The ham loaf was tremendous, as always; IU beat Notre Dame; and Amy’s cake was a big hit. And, it was good to see everyone.
Christmas Day this year was at our house. It’s nice to have Christmases at home from time to time. Growing up, between going to Hilton Head, Goshen, and, at least once, Maryland; I can’t remember many Christmas days in Richmond. Christmas Eve gave me second thoughts about this whole Santa Claus business. Cole had internalized the warnings about how Santa wouldn’t come if little kids weren’t asleep — a device using Santa to manipulate easy bed times for generations. It backfired in this case. Cole, a rule follower by nature, was trying so hard to get to sleep that he couldn’t do it — sleep is one of those things that gets harder if you’re trying. So, he called out on a couple of occasions because he was exhausted, frustrated, and scared that Santa wasn’t going to come. It really bugged me that a lie we had told him was causing him so much distress.
But, eventually he got to sleep, and Christmas morning came. Harper had my favorite line of the morning when she saw that her stocking was filled: “O.k., now I *know* I’m not on the naughty list.” The kids were very happy with their gifts. In particular, it was nice to see how much they appreciated the afghans that Amy spent many finger-cramping nights crocheting over the past couple of weeks. One bummer was that Harper’s DS isn’t working. We’re thinking it might be a battery issue; but we’re not positive.
Later on, Amy’s parents came up and had dinner with us. I was happy to eat one of Amy’s turkeys. She brines them and cooks them with an orange and onion inside. Yum. Afterward, Grandma sewed Harper’s build-a-bear and Grandpa played Mastermind with Cole. (Santa kind of wasn’t thinking when he brought our color-blind son a game dependent on identifying colors.)
By the end of the day, everyone was exhausted; and we were all quite ready for bed.
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